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man i'm dog-tired.
had 2 hours of PE today!
first hour played floorball with 5 other girls from another class then after that they left and we continued playing captain's ball with the guys from s18. super tiring. and Julia became like some celebrity after the game. hahahaha.
oh I got a blister on my toe! so cool. but damn gross. bubble on my toe!
hahahaha.
after PE went to CO room as usual even though woodwinds not supposed to have sectionals today. so just went there to slack around, play some drums, practice my instrument for a bit until 8 then we all went home.
tomorrow. hai tomorrow.
once PMT is over everything should be fine i guess. :/

looking on the bright side, tomorrow is day 1 of CO camp! yay :D
am really happy that we have another camp as its a chance to have some fun which we didn't have in the previous camp.

the 2 SYF pieces wouldn't stop playing in my head.

okay pals, i'm really damn tired. going to pack for camp then sleep!
(to the pigs coming on saturday, i can't wait to see you all (:! hopefully we'll have a chance to talk.)
nites! Thursday, April 28

my $5 earphones finally spoiled. Its time to get new ones!
CO practice tomorrow.
last 10 CO practices D:
today's sectionals was quite fun, just sit around and played among ourselves.
omg Anthon treated our section pizza. super nice of him (:
okayyyy today started out as a bad day but turned out to be better in the end.

saw my drum teacher again yesterday! hahahahaha. omg starfish was damn funny.
okay, busy days. busy days. Tuesday, April 26

saw something cool on letterstocrushes.com.
someone wrote in a letter last time that goes like this:

Mo,
This is my formal letter of apology, that I cannot send you, because we have not spoken in one year, a choice that was entirely mine.
I am sorry that you ever thought you were in love with me. I am sorry you hoped for so long that I could love you back. I did and do love you, but not the way you wished I would.
You quite literally think that I saved your life, twice. The first time by unconsciously pulling you out of a serious bout of depression through our friendship, and the second time by unknowingly causing you to leave a dangerous location. It is this false mindset that has resulted in your inability to see me as I am. When enough time has passed and you're far enough removed from whatever you thought you felt for me because of your faulty reasons, you will see that all the things about me that you loved were never there.
You could never see me clearly. Your eyes were always filled with this wonderful, herioc, enhanced version of which I do not resemble at all. I thank you for seeing those things in me, but I cannot claim them to be true. More importantly, you stayed in a desperate effort to repay a debt you felt you owed, to try and save me from my own darkness, the shadows that slowly tried to drown my light.
I never wanted you to save me.
But I thank you for trying. I have to save myself, to be the source of my own happiness before I can try to be the reason for someone else's. I'm not there yet, but I'm not willing to lean on someone. When I find someone I love, I don't want it to have anything to do with falling. I want to stand steadily next to them, with nothing unsettled inside me to pull me to my knees.
So I'm sorry I could never tell you, that I never had the words, but the reason I couldn't love you was because you never loved me.

Forgive me, I'm still learning how to stand.
-TNM

and guess what i found just now!
A reply letter on the same webbie!

TNM,

When a mutual friend saw the post above and diverted it to my attention a few days ago, I meditated on whether or not it was appropriate for me to respond. I came to the conclusion that I would send this letter into the void of this website, and if you came across it in the future then so be it.

It is true that I believe you to have saved my life, twice. But you would make it sound as if you cut a rope that had me bound to train tracks. It was the way you made me feel that saved me. It was how you made me think, how you made me contemplate what mattered in life; reflecting on my own insignificance whilst battling to maintain a strong sense of self. I learned from you and I continue to learn from you. I’ve never been the same since after we met.

This “enhanced” version of you that I saw was the real you. When I thought about your acorn-colored eyes, I couldn’t help but admire the strength in your physicality, as well as your strength in the terms of ingenuity and demand to live life on your own terms. I never tried to make myself the source of your happiness, I just wanted you to see exactly what you said needs to happen- that you could truly be the source of your own happiness; to see the beauty in yourself.

The facade that you have to live your life alone to be happy is flawed. Your solution is the problem, you’ve outlined it for me here. You pushed me away anyway you could, coming up with excuses, finding flaws, or scaring yourself away, it was all the same. Having someone to share intimate feelings with is important for your personal growth and is not independent of your collective happiness. It is all part of the quest to understand yourself.

If it were possible for you to offend me, I’d almost be upset to hear you say that I am the owner of a “false mindset” and for you to have my feelings for you questioned. A little over a year ago, I told you in a letter that if we didn’t speak for a year my feelings for you would remain the same. Well they have, and I have little choice but to renew that contract. I’ve never had a problem clearly identifying my emotions, and this is no exception. I’m sorry to say that you are wrong. I do love you and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. No amount of time can convince me that my reasons are faulty. Time is irrelevant in my feelings for you. “I couldn’t breathe to save my life”. I am not under the illusion that having these feelings means they will be reciprocated. I agree that you should be with someone that you can love and stand next to, but must allow yourself love them in order to achieve that. Otherwise you’re letting the wall you’ve built around yourself overshadow the woman we both know exists within. It pains me to say that the person you decide to stand next to doesn’t have to be me, but at the very least I hope that I can be used as a learning experience in your life. You weren’t just a crush that I had for three years, you were my best friend. Please don’t apologize; you have done nothing to ask forgiveness for. You have given me more than you will probably ever give yourself credit for.

-Mo


oh my how sad complicated things can be ):

Monday, April 25

(I was thinking maybe I have a foot fetish. hahahahaha. pictures with feet inside usually attracts my attention. hahahaha.)
Hello my pals~
I watched a sunrise yesterday. It was beautiful until the orange sun got too bright for my eyes and I couldn't stare at it for long. And because i spent so long staring at the sunrise, I was late when I went down to meet valerie to go to school.
Soundcheck at SCH went really really well.
Good job every birdies!
and I didn't really screw up that badly, probably because of the lucky message I recieved in the morning (:
Slept on the stage in the hall during lunch break while every one went out for lunch and I stayed back to watch the instruments. And according to sylvester i slept for like half an hour. and very unglam-ly. thank you everyone, forever unglam.
at least i didn't drool. hahaha.
Diary of a madwoman was...
not really my type of thing i guess.
i mean at first it was quite interesting. but towards the end, i guess it has been a long day so i kind of listened with my eyes closed.
the actors and actresses were really great.
the lizards were damn scary. (some of the girls sitting at the front rows were screaming when the "lizards" got near them. does this happen at every showing or is it just the one on saturday night?)
Anywayyyy, why didn't I see the props manager? :D
I thought the props were pretty cool. and they looked expensive. I was quite surprised when the mad woman threw the chairs around.
I was kind of... apprehensive
when I realised quite a few of the madwoman's actions were familiar cause i behave like that too D:
AND THE MADWOMAN SANG THE DOGGY SONG! :D

CO practice everyday other than on tuesday.
CO camp on friday! yay :DDD
MUST have fun this time.
PTM this friday too D:
but lets not think about that too much.

OH YA.
hey pals~
anyone who is interested to come down on saturday night to watch our "mini concert" (HAHA its really damn mini.)
PLEASE CONTACT ME BY WED! Sunday, April 24

1) Expectations are the root of all disappointments.
2) Now i know how you truly think of me.
3) Blessed i am to have family members who truly care.
4) Blessed i am to have friends that didn't run away though that must have been their first instinct.
sorry for the traumatising experience.
5) Stuffed my face with bbq prawns, pork and beef for dinner after barely eating for the whole day.
6) I'm going to do it for myself. NOT to prove you wrong.
7) I hate it when people use reverse psychology on me.
8) Reverse psychology is a trap, people. Its a win-win situation for whoever sets the trap.
9) Reverse psychology is high level mind battle.
10) looking through the recent part outing photos and laughing the comments- one of the small highlights of today.tomorrow is going to be a long day. Friday, April 22

At this point of time, I just came to a conclusion.
Never make anyone or anything your everything cause if your everything ever disappoints you, you will have nothing.
To apply it to our current lives, don't focus solely and only on studies cause if in the end your did not do as expected, you're really left with nothing. no CCA achievements, no friends, no nothing.

Best Fries Forever today was damn yummy :D!
and i finally tried the "red mango" yoghurt that valerie was raving so much about. not bad, very worth it (Y).

Good friday tomorrow. have to make good use of this extra day to do as much hw as possible!
URGH HATE MATHS!!
but looking on the bright side, i'm starting to like econs after we were split into the new class and is under another teacher, who is pretty eccentric, but good.
and then after studying, shall go to my grandma's house for BBQ. YUMYUMYUMZZ :D

saturday would be soundcheck day. omg i hope i don't make so many mistakes again and disappoint mr tan like yesterday ):
hai.
saturday night would be going to watch diary of a mad woman with Diane! yay, i think this is the first time we're going out together? hahaha.
so, the whole of my saturday would be gone.

sunday would be mugging day. Thursday, April 21

this place look so magical, where is this?

lets say reincarnation do exist.
imagine you've reincarnated, a foetus in a mother's womb, waiting to come out into the world.
then you get aborted.

okay random thought.

today was really tiring.
omg my parent hadn't need to meet the teacher for my bad results since primary school.
seriously this is so sad ):
hate that yellow slip of paper.
eye sore.
when teachers and parents come together, nothing good ever comes out of it. never.
hai hai hai.

and during practice today, i couldn't play properly so it was really disappointing. i feel as if i'm dragging everyone behind. and maybe i'm being paranoid or what but when i make eye contact with some... they seem to be saying "whattt, its chen ting again. its always her that create so much problem."
costume stuff more or less settled. i just have to wait for them to go home and try it and all the complains and demands will start coming in.

had quite an interesting convo with mabel yesterday about our future. or lack there of.
anyways, HAI.
life sucks.

why am i such a failure in so many ways ):?!

anyways... the OG outing will be like awkward. awkward.
should i go? Wednesday, April 20

I guess my life, as compared to those of some of my friends (which i had just came to know of what had happened recently to them through their blogs), has been pretty calm and uneventful and i'm really thankful of that.
to those facing truckloads of troubles, dramas, heartaches- stay strong
if you ever need to talk, you can call me anytime! ♥ Monday, April 18

minho and yuri performing summer nights on oh! my school.
the "teacher" with the fake drumroll is damn cute. hahaha.

XLB for lunch :D (Y) Sunday, April 17

i want to be there to watch this flower bloom ):
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Lifestyle/Story/STIStory_657775.html

If thats true, i must have been quite pretty today.
HAHAHA.
today was a great day (:
Beautiful morning, yummy mac bf (SHOULD HAVE MAC BF EVERY SAT!).
although practice was 7 hours, i probably only played during 40% of it. the other 60% was spent stoning, sleeping, picking at my nails, making weird faces at people at other sections, making small talk with my juniors and reading my book.
tried playing in the hall today! quite cool, new experience, something different from our normal practices so i guess that kinda perked everyone up a little.
did i mention that my sheng is back from repair? yay :D
this sheng is still the best despite the most disgusting pipe on earth.
skipped lunch cause saving money for dinner!

couldn't go for crescent funfair today and it sound super super fun )))))):
anyway, thanks for the ring! i like it alot! if only i can wear it to school(HAHA.)

then went to eat astons with Delta'09 :DDDDDDDD
YAY YAY YAY YAY UNITED WE STAND DELTA :D
a tiny incident happened along the way but well at least it wasn't as dramatic as the last time!
Got to catch up with the people who were sitting beside me - lyn and jy.
hahaha lynette really talk a lot now omg. hahahaha.
a young lady (and leader of tomorrow) full of opinions!
i'm still trying to get used to ys's hair. hahaha.
and is sop going to make up now whenever she goes out?
can't wait for the photos to be out then can laugh and make loads of stupid comments again!
Its too bad that not the whole part can make it today though :/
while going home with kelly managed to catch up a little little bit of her life too.
No, i don't act 18, don't dress like i'm 18, don't look like i'm 18 (will i ever? hahaha.), don't feel like i'm 18 too.
so should i start wearing dresses out too? HAHA but i have so little dresses (excuse to shop).
okay never mind, i'm babbling already.

the only kind of down point was my mother nagging at me for reaching home late once i stepped into the house at... 10.15.
i'm not treated like an 18 too.

didn't do any work today except for reading like this one paragraph of econs and listening to TBS talk about a bit about econs too. was going to do a bit of work now but my eyes are closingggg. tomorrow. tomorrow.
(procrastinating in progress)

wow, hahaha can't believe some of the pigs actually wanted to come to listen to the "mini concert"! so touching omg :')
will give you all more updates soon okay :D

okay i'm gonna go sleep naozzz.
nites every birdie~
(hopefully this good mood will last for another week or so)
(and yangfan continues to play in my head :) ) Saturday, April 16

omggg why must co end at 4 tomorrow!! then i cannot go fro crescent funfair. ))):
ONCE IN 5 YEARS! BOOOOOO.
tomorrow is going to be a super long day. 9 to 4!
hai it seems like no matter how many times we practice, we're still stuck at the same stage. not improving at all and time is ticktickticktick-ing away. help!
okay the costume thing is really getting on my nerves. hate people who can't make up their minds. after this and being the food ic for the upcoming camp, chenting shall officially retire as a saikang warrior! yay.

yay i passed my NAPFA so NO MORE NAPFA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! hooray!

i think i sprained my neck.
plus my whole body is aching from yesterday's 5 stations.
climbing down the stairs is a torture seriously.
aaaahhh my neck hurrrrtsss. ):
oh oh oh and my tummy is getting so fat URGHHH too much input and little output!
heeheehaahaahoohoo
what should i wear tomorrow :B!
should i shower in school before going? hmmm a bit lazy but tomorrow will be such a long day :/
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE PIGS! Friday, April 15

"Oh, today when I was waiting for the bus, I thought about what were some of the things that trees might do to pass the time.
1) Confer about weather conditions
2) Boast about their flowers or leaves
3) Grumble about how humans smell
4) Have a height competition with each other
5) Engage in a slanting competition with each other
6) Swaying to winds rhythms"

saw this on mean pok's blog.
omg I seriously miss this.
all the random talking about the most random stuff in the world.
the random stuff that i talk about nowadays are not so random anymore ):

anyway, highlights of today:
-finally buying the sas shirt
-sitting on the floor and reading at one corner of the library with diane
-EATING MACARONS!!
(thank you TBS for the macarons, it was super yummy:D)
-watching episode 1 of "oh! my school" Wednesday, April 13

If I ever get a tattoo, it'll look something like this (:

Today is a good day :D
Days that started great and ended great normally are.

Why the day started great:
Today, before I crossed the road to the MRT station in the morning, I saw my "drum teacher"!!
hahahahahaha omg hahahahahaha. and we talked for this few seconds while we were crossing the road. hahahahahaha.
sudden interest in hockey matches. starfish you want to go with me? HAHAHA :D

Why the day ended great:
soccer matches in school today :D!
CJ vs DHS at first. it was quite fun to watch cause xy and valerie are damn funny. hahahaha.
then they left for choir and i sat there alone for awhile like a stalker spying on scocer guys :B
then jp, valerjoke and aru came and we watched the SA vs YJ match. it was so sad that the match has to be stopped after halftime due to rain ):
why does it always rain during when its our team's turn to play?
anyway, before half-time the score was like 5-0.
(Y)

hmm sometimes i think those people that has the most number of friends may just be the loneliest cause they need to split their time among so many people that they don't have time to foster deeper bonds with some. and in the end they'll realised that out of all these "friends" that they have, they have special bonds with none.
just a random thought.

"Today me and my friends (all 18+) walked to the neighborhood park carrying large sleeping bags. Once to the soccer field (where small children were playing), we zipped ourselves inside with only our feet sticking out. At "Go!" we all started wobbling around, running as fast as we could, trying to locate the other "slugs" and, with a blind armless body slam, bring them to the ground, thus winning the Slug Wrestling Tournament! Unfortunately, it's still not the strangest thing we've done. MLIA" Tuesday, April 12

I am, infinitely grateful for the friends i have.
Thank you for all your encouraging words whenever i'm going through a hard time and always being there for me whenever i need a helping hand, even before i realise that i need it.
Thank you for never leaving my side despite my erratic behaviour, stubborness and moodswings.
I hope that when the time comes, I'd be able to be there for them as they had been for me.
Love you pigs ♥

oh by the way, today would be the last time i ever run 2.4!
yayyyyy!!
thank you to the best running partner, Diane, who kept me going :D
Monday, April 11

did not do any work today but i don't feel that today is wasted at all.
i am really grateful for this opportunity for me to re-connect with all my family members today, from both my father and mother side (:

woke up at 8.30am today to go tomb-sweeping with my mother side family.
although i was pretty angsty at first (cause i'm supposed to wake up at 1 pm on sundays!) but it all got better in the end. hahaha we had to walk quite a distance today so i was holding my grandma's hand to walk with her and it felt quite nice (: hahahaha.
got to talk a bit with my 2 of my cousins too.
i seriously don't understand the problem they have with my hair. i mean, its on my head and not like its poking them in the eye or anything -.-

jordan: can you please go and have long hair?!
jay: ya lor!
me: whaaat
jordan: you look ugly.
jay: i hate girls with short hair.
me: (-_-) ....

and thats not the first time already. okay whatever.

and then after that my parents and i went to my other grandma's house to have lunch :D
yayyyy its been super long since i last went to that grandma's house! the last time was like what, new year? when i used to go there practically every weekend last time ):

anyways, by the end of the day, i ate alot, slept a bit but feeling kinda recharged, to want to continue going.
its not the kind you get after a power nap, nor the kind you get after seeing how your future is going to suck if you don't work hard enough.
its the kind where you feel motivated to keep on going just cause you know there are people behind you who are supporting you and cheering for you. you know?
I guess I am really a very lucky person to have such supportive family members and i am greatly grateful for them. (:
today made me realise that as humans, though we may at times want and need to be alone, interaction with your friends and families are also very important.
dear readers, please please please treasure those around you who matters to you. don't wait till they're gone and its too late.
time you enjoy wasting are not wasted

okay, shall go chiong some last minute work! Sunday, April 10

stormy days like this puts me in a mellow and lazy mood.
my eyes are so tired from all that crying i did...
while reading "the notebook".
the movie was marvelous and touching. really really good movie.
but the book is 10 times sadder seriously! ):
it's just that the last paragraph was just kind of... weird.
hmmmm.
anyway, maybe i should watch the movie again for the third time after reading the book!
hahahaha.

"We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox."
— Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)

I hope that one day, we'll all find someone whom we can have comfortable silence with too (:

"OK, I think I really like you. But then I don't. AND THEN I DO AGAIN.
asdlkf;ajsdlkfaj;sdlfkajs;dlfkasjdf;lasdkfjsa"
http://www.letterstocrushes.com/

feeling kind of off-balanced lately, what with pw results and all the Us coming my way and of course, the lack of sleep, exercise and too much unhealthy food.
I feel like... I'm at this stage where everything is an unknown.
how do i feel now? i don't know.
happy? i don't know.
sad? i don't know.
why did i do that? i don't know.
what am i going to do in the future? i don't know.
the thing is that, I don't even know who i am anymore?
was I always smiling or laughing last time? it doesn't seem that way.
have i always been so mean?
have i always been this sarcastic?
have i always been this selfish?
hais.
so...
WHO ARE YOU, CHEN TING?

"I saw the sweetest boy with biggest brown eyes I've ever seen at the book store today.

He smiled at me and I fell in love for 3 seconds."

so cute (: Saturday, April 9

today made me realise that, I actually have pretty high expectations for myself.
despite all those "no, i don't like to compete with other people", "it's okay, don't do well then don't do well lor" kind of stuff that i kept saying, deep down i actually kind of didn't expect myself to do that badly. complacency.
things had always come to me fairly easily until this point of my life (or if there was any point that wasn't easy, i'd forgotten about it) so maybe i'd just kind of expected myself to continue to get fairly okay results without me putting in much effort and when i DO decide to put in the effort, my results would be like WOAHHH. BUTTTTT... JC life is really proving me wrong. and somehow it feels that its too late to start working hard now. hmmm.

okay i am really tired.
oh but before i end off, let me put down a part of the book i'm reading now.

"The reason it hurts so much to seperate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this good-bye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When i look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you've lived. And i know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say good-bye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and i promise to do all that i can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly good-bye, I know we will see each other again in another life. we will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before."
The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

wow, imagine being so connected in terms of fate with this other soul that the both of you just keep meeting each other every life. that is, if you believe in reincarnation and stuff. which i kind of do. its so freaky, yet cool and intriguing.
mind blowing. hahahaha.
we're all really small and kind of insignificant in this world filled with billions of people. and out of this billions of people okay lets not even talk about people in the world. just people in singapore. out of this millions of people, I met you (whoever is reading this now.) How cool is that?

nites pals.

It's not about how good you are at making friends.
It's about how good you are at keeping the right ones.

so much to report but i need to do some work then sleep asap. ):
if my mother gets a fb account, i'm going to delete mine. and delete my twitter, my formspring, my tumblr, everything.
I'd rather have no life than one with no privacy.
that would mean this blog would have to go too):

i am really not prepared for As in my current state of mind.
retaking this year seems like such a good idea.
the only thing is that it'll be a very lonely one year.

I hope Julia did well for the competition today.
And I hope I don't do too badly for PW.
omt omt omt omt.

today feels like a friday. I hope i'll remember to wake up tomorrow.
peace out pals. Thursday, April 7

Hmmm, I realised something that made me feel scared today- we will never know what others are thinking in their mind. It seems so lonely, no one will ever know what you're thinking unless you tell them and they could choose not to believe you too.

Agreed. but then again, imagine living in a world where you can't choose which thoughts you want others to know and which ones you want to keep to yourself.

someone you can't stand: HELLOHEYHOWAREYOUYOUKNOWTODAYIATEANAPPLEBLAHBLAHBLAH....
you: (thinking) go away, i can't really care less what you ate today
(BUT, instead of being just a thought, the sentence came out of your mouth!)
sycs: BLAHBLAHBLAH WHAT? did you say something?
you: uh no.

but then again...
this kind of things do happen. to people who are really frank, or are in a bad mood or when they're just not thinking.

i do get your point of view though.
Like when certain thoughts have been circling in your head for a long time and when you have finally decided to tell someone about it and thought of a way to put your thoughts into words, it somehow doesn't come out totally right. and once the words leave your mouth, its like out there, vulnerable to attacks and no longer protected as it used to be in your mind.
hahahaha omg i'm mad does anyone even understands this?

"Today,the guy I like said 'rawr', then said 'in dinosaur, that means-'. I cut him off by saying 'I love you'. He was going for 'hello'. Awkward. MLIA. "

yay tomorrow is sports day! even though my class isn't participating this year, some of us are going to be the timers:D how exciting. hahahaha.
stupid tbs! because of what he said about -, i don't think i'll be normal around - anymore.
when can i stop being a pervo magnet?

first ever section lunch tomorrow!
hopefully it wouldn't be too awkward or weird.

should i wear my tsa shirt tomorrowzz :B

how do you talk to a friend whom you know is facing a problem/s but not telling you what it/they are and get that person to tell you what problem it is so that you can help? haishhh.

HELLO NINJA I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS. HAHAHAHA. Tuesday, April 5

okay random picture of the day!
super self-conscious today omg. seriously, i don't know whats wrong with me. anyway, i did something stupid and ended up disfiguring myself on the nose. it'll take a few weeks to recover at least. sian. and today i was damn paranoid and kept thinking that everyone was staring at my nose. URGHHH.
heal, nose, heal!

stayed back to study in school until like 8.30 cause there were air-conditioned classrooms available. not bad, quite productive. okay at more productive than when i'm at home, like now.
but damn tiring. my head feels like its going to burst. maybe cause i stayed up till 2 am this morning trying to finish maths cause maths tutorial was first period this morning (and it got cancelled in the end cause the teacher didn't come to school. my sleep DD: )

i think i over-strained my eyes. shall wear specs tomorrow. like a nerd disfigured nerd 8*) <--- disfigured nose.

hello pals have you all watched 4 minute's heart to heart MV?
its damn awesome cause jungshin is inside and he is so cool. he's finally showing more expressions (Y)
"let's have a heart to heart to heart~"

okay i'll sleep soon!
fell asleep twice today.
WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO SINK BACK INTO THAT STUPID PATTERN AGAIN.

Hello Friend,
I've received your postcard already.
sorry for being such a mean ass.
I'll try, once I don't feel so mean and guilty when talking to you.
hahaha so retarded. I'll try to forget that incident ever happened.

the weather is getting hot.
hopefully my hair can grow faster too so i can tie it up.

MEOW! Monday, April 4

1) I'm sorry to all those who have always been waiting for me.
2) I'm sorry to all my friends whom i had been mean to after getting close to them.
3) I'm sorry for not being there for you all when you all have been there for me.

today was quite a long day, as all saturdays are when we try to maximise it.
overslept (again!)today. did i mention that i overslept yesterday and i thought i was going to be late for school for the first time in my life? hahaha but i wasn't late cause i happen to meet mich at outram and we walked at her fast speed which is many times my normal speed to school.
talked and walked quite a lot today.
SYCO concert was pretty good, esp after the intermission.
(i didn't fall asleep!) hahaha.
and i only left tanjong pagar at 11.30pm to go home and i was in this worried state of mind cause i've never reached home so late before.
haha but anyway in the end my mum only said "为什么那么晚才回来" and "为什么穿到那么难看!"

omg yes chih-yin, i'm super proud of you!:D

what do i identify myself with?
during secondary school, it was my platoonmates, achievements and responsibilities in my cca, my academics and then my family.
now i'm not so sure anymore.
not passionate about my cca, no achievements in my academics, no time for anything else, not even family ):

WHAT AM I PASISONATE ABOUT?
i really wonder.

this is not real. when would something real happen? Sunday, April 3

A few days ago i was having this conversation with diane about insects.
then i remembered this documentary i saw on TV last time about cordyceps and i thought i should share this with you all. highly recommended! hahahaha, its really cool but disturbing at the same time. this is the exact video i saw on tv.

and here are more info on it if you're interested.
we are, at the mercy of mother nature indeed. humans think they're above everything, cutting down trees, destroying habitats, killing animals etc but really, we're all going to get it from mother nature someday.

i used to only think of cordyceps as expensive chinese med but never knew that it is this cool.
"cordyceps fungus it used in china for hundreds of years to cure many ailments of the body a recent product lanched here in america using cordyceps fungus is MAXGXL interesting that the same fungus kills the insect host and cures the human"
one of the comments i saw. yep, really interesting.

and from another comment i realised that there is something similar that applies to human!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis
okay basically, it comes from cats and changes to behaviour include; increased risk taking, slower reactions, feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, kitten-like behaviour in women (!), and more aggressive behaviour in men.
ya, so it doesn't grow from your brain and stuff but it affects human behaviour.

MIND.BLOWN.
nites pal (: Saturday, April 2