January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 May 2017 October 2020

Click here!

hello everybody, here is the long awaited blogpost but haha i'm feeling really sleepy and lazy.
the last month of 2012 was really like a rollercoaster ride.
ever since the last day of work at the office.

this song describes how i feel.

hahaha actually no. just the part about i don't know whether to laugh or cry.

i was really really afraid that what happened at the end of 2011 would repeat again at the end of 2012.

anyways, ever since popo has been admitted to the hospital, i've been making trips down to the hospital to visit her and to spend time with her.
and when i'm not at the hospital, i'll be really worried that something would happen.
i can still remember the first week, when popo was still in ICU, all of us were just really jumpy and paranoid all the time, afraid that the next phonecall would be THE phonecall.
well.
these 2 weeks make me realise that
1) popo is really old already.
2) the biggest asshole of all time is actually me
when popo was still at home, i was always spending time outside, even when i'm at home i'm complaining about her cooking (cause she's forgetful, there are times where she'll cook the exact same dishes for practically the whole week) or ignoring her.
only until she got admitted to the hospital did i make an effort.
每次都这样。 haizzzz... 不说了。

so by right, all these travelling around and worrying and irregular eating should have made me skinnier already but noooo, i have people telling me that i'm fat EVERYDAY.
freaking annoying.
i swear i'm gonna start punching people.
i mean, okayyyy at first i wasn't annoyed or whatever but when it happens everyday, and people start to feel like there is a need to remind me that i'm fat ALL the time, its freaking annoying.
like okay fine, i know i'm fat already, what do you want me to do about it right now?
like i'm not self conscious enough. 
whats more, if i keep hearing these all the time, i'm gonna start having the "okay you know what, ya lah ya lah i'm fat. fat then fat lor."
then again, whats wrong with being fat? why is everyone trying to get skinny and trying to get rid of all those "fats" that they keep complaining about but i don't see?
and moreover, are you all going to stop being my friend or cut off ties with me because i'm fat?
if yes, bye bye.

and no, if you think you're one of those people that i'm talking about in the above paragraph, don't come and tell me that you didn't know i'll "get so affected" and that you're sorry and that i'm actually not fat (rolls eyes) because the words are already out of your mouths and whats has happened has already happened.
and i'm NOT affected or trying to be defensive. these words are just out here because i'm sick of hearing these over and over. EVERYDAY. chaebal, keumanhaja.
topic closed.

and pals, stop having expectations of my blog.
about how often i should blog.
or how my blogposts should be like.
its very burdensome. budamseureobda. 
this blog is still here because of the archives and i like the url.
if you really want to know whats happening in my life, you can:
1) call me
2) sms me
3) whatsapp me
4) write a letter
5) fb message me
6) compose an email
7) ask me out

sorry for this angsty post. i guess these are all the negative feelings from the past few weeks.
there might be another post about happier stuff because happy things have happened too but see when i'm free to sit down like this to type another blogpost.
it sucks that i can't type korean on my comp. Thursday, January 3